


Tired..

by hopalong2



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-01
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-07-21 01:57:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 7,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16150127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopalong2/pseuds/hopalong2
Summary: Sam was tired, just so tiredI don't own anything





	1. Chapter 1

"General Hammond I'd like to request a leave of absence....." Sam abruptly stated earning concerned looks from around the table. Hammond looked at her then Jack and back to her. "Of course Major, you have leave due. Any particular reason? No! She says a little too quickly. "just need a break sir" now Jack knew something was wrong, "ok you're off duty for 2 weeks if you need longer....I will sir she interrupted and left without waiting to be dismissed. Jack looked at Hammond who nodded and he was off after he her.  
She knew he would be and evaded him at every turn heading towards the surface. She emerged and ran for her car. The events of the past week raged thru her mind like wild fire. Janet, dad, Daniel, Jack....she started crying still sitting in the base lot. Jack emerged and saw her head down, shoulders shaking and started running for her before she could attempt to drive off. He tapped her window " Sam what's wrong? SAM!! SAM open the door that's a order dammit! " She stared blankly ahead. She put the car in gear and took off.  
Thankfully Daniel and Tealc had witnessed the whole thing from the briefing room to now and where already in Daniels keep following her pausing briefly for Jack to dive into the back and they were off. "What's going on?" Both men asked in unison....."I DONT KNOW JUST DON'T LOSE HER DANIEL!" She drove erratically causing several near misses. Jack began racking his brain trying to figure out what was going on. She neared a railroad crossing the warning lights were on and the crossbars lowering. "Oh my god" Daniel said aloud. They all let out a heavy breath when her car beat the train they however were stuck by it. "DAMN DAMN DAMN" Jack yelled. " I'm sorry Jack " Daniel whispered. " You did everything right Daniel nothing to be sorry for.  
They drove in silence to her house figuring it was a good place to start. Sure enough her car was there. They pulled behind it and got out. As each men took his first step towards the house the unmistakable sound of a bloodcurdling scream rang out.  
"NO NO NO NO NO" was all they could scream as they ran. Not bothering with keys Jack said " T get it open* with that the big man threw his body against the door breaking it off the frame. Caution went out the window as they separated yelling her name. "O'Neill, I believe you should come here" Tealc was just outside the bathroom looking in. Jack could here water running then as he neared...crying. She's alive he thought relieved but still was unprepared for what he saw in that bathroom.  
The shower was on, Sam was sitting in the tub fully clothed, water running over her. Jack quietly told the others to wait quietly in the other room. They agreed and retreated shutting the door. Nothing was said Jack simply opened the curtain farther and slipped behind her cradling her with his body. He tossed the gun away before wrapping her in a bear hug and holding tight.  
She started sobbing so hard he was afraid she'd choke on the water still raining down so softly he said "Sam we need to move you out of here and dry off I promise that's all I'm doing" she settled a bit allowing him to move. He shut the water off and grabbed a towel when he turned back she was shivering so he quickly stripped her down and wrapped the towel and her robe around her. He cradled her in his arms and opened the door to the guy's worried faces. Calmly Jack said " Daniel make something warm to drink, T help me a minute here."  
In her bedroom Jack instructed T to find dry clothes for her it didn't matter what and not to worry about underclothes she needed to be warm now.....he quickly and efficiently dressed her and rewrapped her in her blanket sitting with her back to the wall a blank glassy stare on her face. He looked up and saw Daniel with small overnight bag and Tealc with a tray holding 4 steaming mugs. "I've learned to keep a few necessities in the car. Go see what you can use, you're shivering.." he nodded in silent thank you. Not wanting to leave the room he asked them to turn around as he changed into some slightly smaller yet much warmer clothes. He then wordlessly slipped under the covers with her.  
After several tense minutes and still holding her tight Jack softly said "Sam please tell us what's wrong, let us help you....no problem is beyond fixing but you have to let us in."  
She gave no response but tears started falling. Jack took a stab in the dark and started talking

. When I came home from Iraq, everyone pretended like everything was normal I was back and life just went on. No one understood I had changed no one saw I needed help not even me. He looked over and instead of staring at the wall she was staring at him. He took deep breath glancing at T and Daniel who both silently nodded in support. I started to feel like I couldn't talk it wouldn't come out. Then like I had no right to talk and be a burden on anyone. They got past it and I had to be also. He sensed movement, she was silently shaking her head slowly....


	2. sinking deeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is there a way back up?
> 
>  
> 
> I don't own anything

Sam listened to the colonel and honestly understood what he was saying about telling others..she decided to tell them....what they wanted to hear. That's what she did she started talking about all the things that sucked in her life. Daniel and Tealc were very understanding and full of support...O'Neill sat and listened with a carefully blank expression. He wasn't buying this. No matter she thought, who would not believe Major Doctor Samantha Carter USAF solver of all earth problems, superbrain, genius....she was even convincing herself. The guys hugged her and said the usual "call me" "lemme know if you need anything" and were gone. Jack looked at her, she looked back and even though he wanted to call her on the line of bull she fed the others he didn't instead they watched a movie, ordered pizza, went thru the motions. While she cleaned up he went to use the bathroom. He felt guilty but snooped in her medicine cabinet. Nothing really harmful there until he came across the bottle of sleeping pills doc had given her when Jacob died..  
He rejoined her on the couch and she excused herself for the same reason..when she returned the was something different, a sadness, yet resolution. "Are you ok?" He said. "Just tired would you stay please ? Don't wanna be alone." He nodded, "cmere" she snuggled up to him and he threw a blanket over her. "I love you, she said I have for a long time and I want you to know that." She closed her eyes, her breathing evened and she fell asleep. Jack carefully laid her on the couch and went back to the bathroom. The tranquilizer bottle was open and empty....  
Thank god for gut instinct he thought, earlier when he found them he also found a bottle of vitamin C they looked almost identical. He had switched them. She'd wake in a few hours on her own. He phoned Gen Hammond saying he needed a few days to help Carter with her "personal stuff" the Gen who completely trusted Jack knew there was more to it but knew Jack could handle it and granted the downtime. Knowing that 1. What a suicide attempt could do to a person's life 2. She didn't want to die she needed rest and understanding Jack devised a plan.  
He checked Sam who was still out, placebo effect plus exhaustion he thought to himself. He started around her house packing her things....they were leaving.

Short chapter trying to figure my way thru feelings myself tonight. Will continue soon.


	3. long way back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fall stops....time to climb
> 
>  
> 
> I don't own anything

Sam stirred, she blinked and opened her eyes... nothing was familiar ... nothing. She stated to sit up and was stopped by the most horrible dizziness she'd ever experienced. Ugh, she said and flopped back flat. "Problems?" She heard from the doorway and reluctantly opened her eyes. Jack stood there with a cup of coffee a bottle of aspirin and a very serious look. " Didn't I ? " " Try to kill yourself?, Overdose, check out, Leave me.....? Yes Samantha you did." She looked at him puzzled so he continued..." I've been there Sam I saw it coming. I checked the bathroom found the pills and figured that's what you'd do so I switched them, you need more vitamin C by the way...here" he handed her 2 aspirin for the dehydration and a cup of coffee. She gladly accepted both and after an uncomfortable silence she said " Sir? I have about 100 questions but before that....she studied her lap quietly.."what Sam?" Would you hold me for just a minute? I'm feeling really..... really um ..." " Scared? Unsure? Confused maybe for the first time in your life?" She nodded and he slowly walked towards her sitting close to her with his arms open wide. She looked in his eyes and saw tears there. Instantly her barriers dropped and she fell into his arms. " God you scared me Sam." She held him tighter " I'm sorry, im so very sorry..."

"Sam, we need to talk." He said seriously, she nodded in acceptance and sat back meeting his eyes "Why Sam?" She thought a minute then " Janet's dead, my dad's dead, you almost died, and I'm really glad you didn't but I still can't have you.....I have "NOTHING" when my time does come all they can say is not what a great career.....so freaking what! Who cares about a career. I WANT A LIFE JACK, I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE ME JACK....I want you damnit, I WANT YOU.  
He blinked a bit at a loss for words, he wrapped his arms around her tightly "you mean that? He asked a little scared of her reply. She looked at him "with everything i am" she said. Ok then the first thing we talk about is last night Sam. She nodded and began asking questions."where are we? Minnesota, "why?" We needed rest "who knows?" No one, "how the?" I told Hammond I wanted to be available if you needed he agreed and put us all on downtime. No one knows any different."" "Why would you do this?" "Sam I know suicidal, ive been there hell I tried once after charlie. I know what you're feeling and I know you don'tt really WANT to die, just desperate forth pain to ease.... right? She nodded......"ok so I'm taking a big gamble but let's make a deal ok? Another nod..."you promise me to talk about you're feelings not act on them, the bad ones anyway and I'll do everything in my power to help you thru anything, just do not give up. She looked at him still unsure. He remembered that awful confusion well and sat down close to her looking right in her eyes. "Sam I'm going to ask you a couple things you just answer yes or no do you understand?" She nodded. "Ok good, did you really want to die? She shook her head with tears falling. He sighed in relief, "if we stay here and I help you do I have to worry about this again or will you trust me to get you through it?" She whispered "I trust you, please don't leave me" He pulled back and looked at her. "I'm with you..... always" For the first time in a very long time she believed in something...in him...in them. "I want us, she said into his neck. I'm gonna fight for US Jack. He smiled and hugged her tighter.


	4. hard work

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was everything building just to crash all around her.....
> 
> I don't own anything

They started a morning exercise routine, not talking, running. She didn't want to talk yet. He knew she would when she was ready not before.  
Early one morning they hit the 5 mile mark which happened to be small bridge over the lake across from the store. He went in to grab a paper and say hey. Meanwhile she had walked to the bridge and looked out at the exspanse of water below. He came out and called to her, "sam, cmon let's head back". She thought for a minute and smiled to herself. He watched in disbelief as she swung both legs over the rail and lept hitting the surface with a loud splash. Jack ran to the bridge and looked down as she surfaced giggling with a huge smile on her face.  
He couldn't help but smile too..." What are you doing Sam?" Without missing a beat she said " being uncolonely sir.... don't you ever want to be ungenerally?" Is that a word he wondered. Cmon Jack please? Its been way too serious and I know we have a lot to work thru but please be silly with me....I need it.... When he didn't move she turned in the direction of the cabin and started swimming, she needed a tension release dammit water did that for her like nothing else. She was so focused on leaving the damn , stupid stress at the bottom of the lake that she barely heard him hit the water. She waited, and waited, oh great my idea killed hi..... She couldn't finish her thought because strong hands grabbed her waist and yanked. Next thing she knew was seeing nothing and hearing nothing, she was beneath the surface in peace and calm. Suddenly a soft, delicious pressure was on her lips and she was rising effortlessly. They broke apart as they surfaced breathlessly. "God thank you" she yelled to the clouds and sunk again. She loved the quiet, the stillness it almost called to her. Jack followed near the surface as she glided beneath him. When his lungs began to protest he gently grabbed her hand and pulled her to him. They surfaced again her back to his chest. She was trying to tread when he said "lie back, let me do the work this time, let go." She collapsed back onto him not moving a mmuscle for several minutes when he slowly paddled them towards his cabin. Suddenly her eyes opened " I swear to you I didn't want to die, I was just .... just.... Overwhelmed? He offered. She gave a small nod. "I wanted relief, peace maybe I don't really know. I used the bathroom and remembered the pills. I just wanted peace jack that's all just to sleep in peace." She stroked her arms to sit up from him and support her weight. " I know i deserve reprimand, reassignment, even discharge...with that her lip quivered I'm prepared rto accept whatever consequences you think there should be.... and I know I scared you for THAT I am deeply, truly and sincerely sorry Jack please please forgive me. She looked up at his face and could tell he was deciding her fate. Cmon let's go airman we've got 4 1/2 miles to go....bet you can't beat me .....


	5. letting go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to go after what you want

They raced briefly then Sam took in a deep breath and dove under. The stillness returned and she loved it. There were no problems demanding her immediate attention.... nothing. Then she felt his arms around hers stopping her descent. She turned to him and grabbed him around his neckk smashing her lips to his. They both kicked for the surface.  
They broke momentarily for gulps of air and were right back on each other. She hungerly explored his mouth sucking his tongue into hers. She was so caught up in him she hadn't noticed they were nearing the bank. Still sitting in the shallows their kisses became frantic, clothes began to float away or just sink. When they were both in their underwear Jack made himself pull away"...Sam are you sure? " She nodded "yes, I want you right here and now" They sat in a small natural pool on the bank. He lifted her and started moving, she didn't care what he was doing as long as his lips never left hers. Suddenly she found herself straddling him, his erection being seated deep inside her.  
She moaned in relief...god nothing else existed. He was trying hard to restrain, not wanting to hurt her. "Jack please I can't wait, gentle is for later please make me feel you....." He looked at her and thrust hard she screamed as he shuttered and shook at the feeling. She started to move, fast but oh so right. "You got me?" She asked breathlessly, "always" he said not really knowing what she meant. In the next second she let go of his neck, her upper body falling backwards and going under. This made her hips thrust hard against him almost knocking him off balance. " JESUS SAM!" he screamed as she thrust twice more....he came explosively causing her to do the same only she was still submerged....wow he thought and slid one hand under her back bringing her to the surface. She clutched at him panting trying to catch her breath. They were still connected and he placed feather kisses down the side of her neck holding her tightly. "Sam?" She stirred... I want you to look at me please. She slowly pulled back catching brown with blue.." I want to to do something for me ok?" She nodded " I want you to tell me what you want...forget the regs, the SGC, Daniel, Tealc hell even me dont take anyone else's opinion into consideration not even the president....I don't think I've ever asked you what do YOU want?" Tears started to fall but no words came. "It's ok, I don't want an answer this second but think about it..i want to know, what does Sam want?" He kissed her forehead hand again started them towards the dock now in sight. When they arrived they found 2 towels and a note. " Store clerk told us you jumped in the lake, something about being un something.... anyway thought you might need these we went to town for supplies taking the "long" way see you in a few hours.... Daniel Thanks space monkey jack said with a grin.


	6. decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam has a answer to the Generals question

When Daniel and Tealc arrived about and hour after they came in from the water jacket and Sam both sat on the couch in robes, exhausted but deep in thought. "HHEELLOOO???" Daniel bellowed before opening the door. Jack smirked he was warning them of their approach. "Hey!! Cmon in we're starving!" Sam sat motionless staring into the fire. "I bet.... how far is it from the bridge to here? A little over 5 miles right?" Jack was eyeing the groceries and looked at him "... sometimes doing something impulsive is good Daniel." With that he took the bag containing the steaks out to the grill. Both guys took in Sam's appearance and demeanor, she looked utterly lost...they both decided to leave her be for now and join Jack to see what was going on.  
"She's thinking"...he said without prompting "I gave her something to think about and she's thinking. They both accepted that and quietly started dinner. She picked and pecked at her plate til Jack couldn't watch anymore. "Coffee?" He asked taking her plate.

"Let's go outside" the 3 men looked at each other and concluded none of them had said it so they all looked simultaneously at Sam standing in the door way. "After you.." Jack said shooting quick glances at Daniel and Tealc saying here we go. She walked thru the backyard down to the dock and sat on the edge dangling her feet in the water. " I owe all of you an explanation and a apology" she said without looking at them. "I don't want to die ...I want to stop and I want to feel..." Her head lowered and they watched her shoulders shake while tears started rolling.  
Jack cautiously approached knowing she could kick the shit out of him.

He sat next to her also dangling his feet in the water "Sam, I can't make assumptions here I need you to tell me exactly what you are saying" She took a deep breath, and closed her eyes for a moment.   
She opened them and looked directly into his stating " Sir I want to retire from field duty, I feel I have more than proven myself in battle and it's time to step down...I would like to remain at the mountain in a civilian research position Sir....And I ...I...I want you si.. Jack. No one has ever made me feel like you do all the others see the brain and the medals on a sleeve, you have always seen past that. You see ME....ME! She took another deep breath..."I love you Jack, always have.. please make me feel......  
Jack stated at her a tad dumbfounded. He understood the 1st part and actually had approached the president about the issue. But the second, it was his one deepest hope and wish come true.


	7. this is what I want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stilll don't own anything

"Done...." She opened her eyes, blinked thru the tears and looked at him. "What?" She whispered. He smiled "If you're sure this is what you really want, I happen to be the base CO so it's my decision....it's done. The first 2 points anywayy, I wanna talk a little about the 3rd." She nodded slightly. This was either going to be the best or the worse few minutes of her life. Before either could continue they heard a car start. They looked behind them as Daniel backed out of the driveway w Tealc in tow. On Daniels vacated seat another note "see you next week, DONT be an ass and mess this up.... Daniel" Jack shook his head "I think he still has some of that ascension ESP stuff in him, it creeps me out" She didn't look at him but a giggle escaped. Thank God Jack thought. It had been a long time since he heard that giggle he found he missed it.  
"OK Colonel I'd like to address your 3rd request." His tone serious enough to make her straighten, the giggle disappeared and she could feel tears threatening. "Look at me Colonel" She whipped her head towards him instantly, threatening tears became free flowing ones but she remained silent. She was frankly surprised by his appearance. His face was soft, eyes were full of love a small smile on his face. "Sam, I've been yours for 8 years, only yours." She blinked in disbelief, he nodded and wrapped his arms around her. Short chapter rating change to explicit for next one


	8. close to perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> , own anything
> 
> Rating changed to explicit for this chapter

He pulled her into a passionate kiss which seemed to snap her out of the clouds "Jack?" She mumbled around his tongue "Jack, how, whoa hhmmmm" he swept her into his arms and started for the cabin. She decided her questioncc and wait and wrapped her arms around his neck pulling him tightly to her. She shoved her tongue in his mouth desperate to taste him . He moaned breathlessly. He carried her to the bedroom by feel because he didn't dare release her. Surprisingly they made it without running into anything. He set her down and she dropped to her knees and worked on his belt. "Please she said please, please. She got it open and gone she opened his jeans and gasped he was huge, hot and ready all for her. She grabbed his hips and pushed him to sit on the bed then without a word took him in her mouth as far as she could. He yelled out and jerked against her but she didn't let go she let him slide between her lips till she goy to the head and started sucking with enough pressure to make him moan and thrash on the bed. "Sam, Sam god that's so AAUUGGHH she took him in again hitting the back of her throat. She repeated this several times enjoying the power she had over his pleasure. She felt his hand on her head "Sam? Sam please baby stop please" he shuddered and sniffed she stopped and looked at him, are those tears? "Jack? are you OK? Did I do something wrong? Have I hurt you?" He sat up instantly "no! God no don't ever think you did anything wrong it was just so intense it was incredible. But I don't wanna come like that please let me inside you?

She straddled him and captured his lips to hers as she lowered herself on him. She stopped about midway and broke the kiss panting furiously. "Ssshh it's OK relax it'll happen it's OK" he kissed her repeatedly, lovingly and when he was sure she was close to becoming mush he thrust hard into her. She threw her head back and screamed "YES JACK PLEASE MAKE IT HURT!" He looked at her breathlessly "why?" She looked back at his eyes tears running down hers " I'll explain later just please please do it." He kissed her and rolled them he then pulled out and she sobbed thinking he was stopping "its OK I'm doing what you asked ...get on your knees." She nodded and turned he kissed her back from her neck to her lower back then positioned himself and entered her rear in one hard thrust. She screamed then he withdrew and thrust again she screamed and saw stars crying she straightned up and reached behind her grabbing his neck. She bent herself back to rest on his shoulder when he withdrew and thrust again she screamed but her mouth was cover by his. "Are you close? He nodded More make it hurt more." He withdrew slowly catching every nerve in the way and flipped her grabbing the bedsheets and wiping her dry. She watched as he positioned himself and leaned down for a kiss. She was making love ho his mouth completely distracted when he entered her again, using the headboard for balance he seated himself as deep as he could go and waited. "Keep moving don't wait for me please just this once please do this. He nodded and thought briefly "this is gonna be some explanation." He thrust into her roughly twice more and yelled "Sam I can't hold it back anymore God I can't I can't!!" She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her. She held him tight while he screamed at life in general and came hard into her collapsing on top of her after.


	9. dream come true

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't own anything

Jack came to early the next morning still dim outside. He was face down in the bed. He looked around slightly confused I swear Sam was here when I passed out. "SAM?" he yelled. Nothing....he dragged himself up which wasn't easy by the way, not after the roughest sex he had ever had not that he was complaining one little bit. He was dragged from his thoughts by the sounds of splashing water. Oh boy he thought on his way to the window. Sure enough there she was floating around in the lake eyes closed completely at ease. Wow he thought she really does love the water he thought and was very happy he could provide something so important to her. He grabbed a pair of boxers and tried to put them on the action stopping him in his tracks. Jesus if I'm this sore how the hell is she swimming he wondered.  
He saw her dive as he opened the door and walked towards the dock. She surfaced about 5 ft from him facing away "Good Morning"aahh! she screamed and turned looking at the biggest damn smirk he could come up with. "Don't do that you scared the hell out of me!" He shrugged his shoulders "what? I said good morning not boo!" Now she had a grin too as she treaded water effortlessly. "Um I know I hurt like hell, so are you superhuman or something?" Her smile grew " oh no I'm pretty much in agony myself but the water helps and it was sooo inviting I couldn't resist. Join me? My god she's trying to kill me he thought. "No I'm not!" She yelled from further out. Holy shit she reads minds too..."No I don't I just know you" she yelled and started giggling. "Oh I'll get you for that" he jumped and immediately surfaced " YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME IT WAS FREEZING IN HERE!" "why do you think it's helping with the soreness Jack?" OK good point he thought and started towards her. She dove again and suddenly he was underwater. How the hell did she? He thought but decided to surface and exact revenge. He broke through the water yelling and thrashing hearing her hysterical laughter. He let out a battle cry and took off after her. She tried to evade but underestimated his agility in the water. She let him get too close and he was able to grab her leg. "You like going under huh? Well deep breath, here we go. He dove straight down taking her with. He went until his lungs burned then let her ankle loose and followed her to the surface.They both came up coughing and sputtering "jeez Jack what was that? "Payback baby" she splashed him in the face and he sent a tidal wave her way then they both stilled and looked at each other. "Are you cold?" He asked "a little" she said. "How bout we move to different water? She looked puzzled " I have a hot tub.." he saw a megawatt smile and figured it as a yes so they turned to shore. Now the water felt heavenly as they both sank to their chins occasionally dunking below . God Sam couldn't believe this nightmare situation had ended like this. "Sam?" "Hey are you OK?" Jack asked as he wrapped himself around her. She kissed him, yeah I'm great, really it's just that this week has been a little unbelievable.," His mood turned serious "regrets?" He whispered. "Only putting you thru this whole thing well the beginning I think the middle thru now has been kinda fun personally." He smiled "I agree with you but you realize we do have a few things to talk about right?" She locked blue with brown, "yes I know and I'm ready start with whatever you'd like Jack I'll tell you anything i promise" he sighed in relief and embraced he tightly then gathered his thoughts and began.


	10. truths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time for answers
> 
>  
> 
> Don't own anything

"OK Jack started, I do have a few questions but first I think you need to hear some things." He turned her to look at him. "Bottom line I love you I have for quite awhile and nothing you say in this cconversation will change that.... OK?" She nodded unshed tears brimming in her eyes. OK kwhat made you go over my head and ask for leave?" She swallowed "I didn't want you to see me being weak.." what was bothering you? " " I'm always the go to person for answers the walls star to close in, a little. Is that why you want to retire? Mostly...to be honest that and we could be together." "You sure that's what you want?" She froze and pulled away "you even have to ask???don't you? Or wait you're just trying to get the scoop on my mental health or lack thereof is that right. Well what have you determined General? You have enough for the report? By all means don't let me keep you from it then!" She pulled away and stormed off into the house. Jack sat there a minute shit he thought that was stupid here she's being open and vulnerable to you and you question her like that, make her feel like this is one sided great job idiot. He had decided to give her a bit before heading in to her when the noise if a car pulling up changed his mind. She had called a taxi! Oh shit she's leaving I'm gonna lose her oh my god no! He stumbled over himself getting out if the tub and reached the cab just as she was coming out the door her arms loaded with everything she could recognize as hers. Tears pouring out if her eyes, breath hitching she was near hysterics. "Samantha please stop and listen to me." She attempted to keep walking but couldn't see. "Samantha I'm sorry I didn't mean that the way you took it please please let me explain." There was no movement which he guessed was improvement. "Samantha please I have not just been gathering information for a report if I've made you feel that way I am truly sorry. I told you I love you that's not something I say to anyone easily you should know that." Her shoulders shook harder she dropped to her knees unable to keep herself and her things upright anymore. He paused their conversation and turned to the driver. He handed him a $20 and apologized for the confusion. He then turned back to Sam who had turned into a shaking weeping shell of her former self. He approached her cautiously even in this state she could do some damage. When he was close enough he knelt and gathered her to him. She protested "No, leave me....he tried again NO! you don't want me hheerree the last word on a sob. " I've been making a total ass out of myself. I'm so stupid just leave me here ....." "Samantha stop this right now and look at me"..She studied her feet "Samantha look at me that's a fucking order!!!" He didn't often use that word but this had to stop he needed her attention. Her eyes snapped to his on there own at his choice of words. He studied her for a long time looking deep into those brilliant blue orbs he loved so much that were soaked with hurt tears. "Samantha you don't have to say anything if you don't want to but please listen to me OK? As I said I love you and that is totally the truth I love you with all my heart. I asked if you were sure because I can't help but feel you're giving a lot up for me and that worries me. You're changing your job status and your personal life around in a very short time period and getting involved with someone almost 10 years older I am absolutely flabbergasted as to why someone like you would want anything to do with someone like me. That being said I'm also overjoyed with the fact you like being with me I just you to be sure that you're not jumping into something you "think" will make it better..awe hell I suck at this! Does this make any sense at all? Please talk to me Sam please." She started to shake again, silently sobbing. He gently attempted to gather her in his arms again and silently thanked whatever higher power when she let him. He took her in the cabin and sat on the couch. She was cradled in his lap he rocked her gently rubbing small circles on her back. She turned to him and wrapped her arms around his neck burying her face in his shoulder. He let out a sigh, she was still here. His thoughts were interrupted when he heard "I love you so much and I've never been more sure of anything in my life" it was a whisper but it was clear...She tighten her grip he tightened his. It was settled this is what they both wanted there would be no more constant questioning each other's intentions and definitely no more wasted time. They sat there a long while before she finally stirred his eyes were still closed as she willed hers to stay open. She didn't know if they had fallen asleep or passed out from all the physical and emotional stress they had experienced in the last few days. In all honesty this afternoon was almost a complete blur to her. She tried to quietly free herself from his hold but it only tightened. She looked closely at him though his eyes were closed tears were beginning to run from his eyes. Her heart broke for him, he couldn't even find peace in his sleep she leaned forward and gently kissed him. "Im sorry baby, you rest ssshh please rest." She kissed him again and he started shaking more tears came. "Jack? Jack wake up!" "I am" he said softly " you were gonna leave me..." She looked at him he looked at her "I'm sorry. Please please forgive me.."


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic
> 
> This chapter is explicit

He stared at her like he was looking into her soul. She held his eyes, she didn't flinch and she was never going to leave him again. She leaned forward and kissed his forehead, his eyes fell shut and she gently kissed each one tenderly caressing his head running her fingers through his hair til he moaned and his head fell forward as if he was unable to hold it up. She kissed his hair continuing her massage and placing tender kisses down the side of his face to his ear sucking the lobe into her mouth and wiggling her tongue around the inside. She continued down his collarbone to his chest. She changed her position from his lap to her knees and continued kissing pulling a nipple between her teeth and making it red and hard. She did the same to the other then continued down. His hips vaulted off the couch when her tongue dipped and swirled in his belly button. "Dear god woman you're going to kill me" he mumbled, she smiled and continued lower. She shoved in her hands under his butt and grabbed his waistband. With the few working brain cells Jack had he lifted his hips and she pulled, removing them and there he sat in all his impressive glory all for her. She kissed down and around to the underside of his penis then prepared for a reaction as she stuck out her tongue and giving one constant lick up his entire length. He arched and yelled out. When his hips landed she began her attack. His pleasure was the only thing she wanted she was gonna make him scream. She latched on to him using her tongue to caress his length. He moaned and wirthed but that's not what she wanted she wanted screaming. She added suction to the head suckling him lwhile sticking her tongue in his slit and tasting the precum then.. "Sam " he croaked, "stop Sam I'm gonna cum it won't be long, stop" she didn't, his hands were going to her head when she grabbed his forearns and pinned them to the couch. "SAM!" She deep throated him and he lost the ability to speak as his head flew backwards. " God! Sam Jesus god oh Jesus god" she didn't let up and wouldn't stop. She took almost his whole length in and sucked as hard as she could without hurting him . He levitated off the couch screaming at the top of his lungs. He flooded her mouth and she swallowed as fast as she could, barely keeping up. Finally he stilled, sort of, aftershocks still charged through his body and he was panting. She released his arms and he instantly grabbed under her arms and lifted her to his lap she straddled legs, just then he started shaking, burying his face in her body in front of him. At first she thought it was another aftershock then she her a sob. "Oh god, Jack baby? Are you alright?. He didn't move. She gently pulled back and saw the tears running down his cheeks. His eyes were still closed. "Jack baby look at me" no response, She kissed his eye lids again softly "please don't cry baby" she kissed his lips" please look at me love are you alright?" He inhaled deeply and opened his beautiful brown eyes and looked at her, a few tears escaping. He had stopped sobbing but his breath hitched "I...love.....you...so..so...much.. please.. don't... leave..me". "Never, you are sooo stuck with me." He grabbed her in a hug as a final sob escaped "ssshh baby I got you I'm here never leaving I promise. "


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't own anything purely fanfic

He woke the next morning still on the couch. He couldn't remember if they had passed out or decided to sleep there. My brain had been sucked out another place he thought, that he did remember theres no way he'd ever forget. "Sam?" He called out, no response. This is deja vu he said instinctively looking out the window. Sure enough there was Sam making her way out to the float. He loved watching her swim, so graceful, elegant and sure of herself. Then it hit him...She does this because all she has to worry about is staying afloat and getting from point A to point B nothing else matters. In everyday life there are so many things to worry about and people that count on her. This was her release, her way to cope. And she let him into her sanctuary. He smiled to himself and headed the dock.  
She had rolled onto her back staring up to the sky thinking, dad, Janet, Cassie, leaving SG1, Jack. Just as he enter her mind she heard a splash and saw him making his way to her. "Hey" "Hey" they looked at each other, replaying last night in their heads. "Cmere" she moved closer, "turn around" she did and he came behind her wrapping an arm around her waist. "Lie back, enjoy the water, let me do the work. Please Sam" She did as he said laying her head on his shoulder and letting her arms and legs float and sway with the water movement. Her eyes closed in total bliss and she whispered "thank you" his arm tighten "what for?" " Making it go away" with that he knew his assumption was right and he held her up while she found solace in the water.< A question nagged at him though. "Sam can I ask you something please?" She nodded " why did you want me to hurt you? You begged me to please tell me why? She took a deep breath and he tightened his hold. " To make sure you were real...so much of our lives are secret or even imagined....I've lost so much lately...dad, Janet she choked. Even you almost....too almost. I needed to feel you're real please please be real.... "I'm real I promise you Samantha baby I'm real this is real....he smiled and this water is REALLY cold can we please go somewhere else?" She giggled.. "I said no giggling" she giggled louder "ok then" he sunk with her and somersaulted then surfaced. She was still giggling. He started laughing god he loved that sound. "I didn't know you could do that! I'm impressed!!!" "Thanks, now let's get outta here" "hot tub?" She nodded and turned in his arms and started kicking propelling them to the dock. "Wow" he thought


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't own anything purely fanfic

She hoisted herself onto the dock which was a scene he wish he could burn into his memory. "Race ya!," She said and took off giggling. Shoulda guessed that one jack thought as he pulled himself out to follow. She hopped into the tub and let herself sink then slowly rise to the surface. She was met by his lips crushing to hers passionately, feverishly. He grabbed her and backed up towards one of the benches he sat and pulled her to staddle him. Their lips were still joined tongues dueling for dominance and neither winning . They broke for air and she rested her forehead against his, her eyes closed. "I love you" she whispered. "Hey, look at me, he tilted her chin up and a tear ran down each cheek. I LOVE YOU, he said loud and clear then whispered " this is real."


End file.
